hate tis world... hate everything

2006-07-02T10:57:00.000+08:00

closing this blog 4 gd.... gonna open another 1 again... =)

2006-06-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

things are looking 4 me better this few mths.... =)

heh, mi and her getting closer this few days....

so happy nowadays...... =)

even though i been happy 4 like always,

i been even happier when i am with her....

this was really the 1st time that i have felt so happy....

just to see her smiling face.....

so for the 1st time i am going to say this....

i lke you, cloudy =)

2006-05-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

i wan the whole world 2 leave mi alone....

dont wanna tink about u

tink about nth

feel lik going 2 a part of the world where no 1 can find mi

2006-05-12T22:31:00.002+08:00

i hav closure. enough said

2006-05-12T22:31:00.001+08:00

i hav closure. enough said

2006-03-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

realli fed up wit ppl asking mi whether i hav gf not... then when i sae no, they will sae 'dun bluff'

-.-"

come on la, if i realli hav a gf, y shld i sae i dun hav 1??? siaoZ 1....

hate having a relationship.....

y????

coz i believe tt relationships nv ever hav a happy ending.... its realli simple enough....

also noe tt by now i shld hav a stable gf blah blah blah.....

but y doesnt i hav 1 yet???

firstly - i dun believe in relationships
secondly - nobody wans mi
thirdly- dunno who is in 4 fun and who is committed
fourthly - dun wan 2 hurt ani1
fifthly- dun wan 2 b hurt
lastly- coz i am jus 2 darn scared of relationships.....

2006-03-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

personal life so screwed up now..... grr.....

want 2 transfer 2 gv harbourfront.... tampines simply hav 2 much politics going on... and the thing i hate the most is politics... haix.....

somemore, my love life is realli gettin more and nore worse each dae... haix....

normal frienz wit the girl i lik

best frienz wit the girl i used 2 lik

the new malay girl who i tink la, likes mi

all of a sudden, my workplace mum told mi her gd frienz lik got abit of interest in mi lik tt

and suddenly, my sip group mate sae she sad coz cannot c mi now... -.-"

abit weird sia.... lik all come jus lik tt

so sian now.... haix... i not realli tt gd ma.... y mus all come 4 mi also....

girls nowadays are all blind liaoZ... hahaha

2006-02-24T21:52:00.000+08:00

SianZ......

1 is a girl who i lik.....

the other is the 1 i havin been likin 4 ages.....
the other 1 well.... u noe la...... haixZ....

dunno wad 2 do.....

SIANZ!!!!

2006-02-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

Serene + Siti + Cloud = A hell lot of stress 4 mi...

argh.... coz od tis, i feel fear everi time my fone vibrates, rings.....

sianZ.... can some1 help mi????????????
argh... realli in a pickle now.....

dunno wad 2 do... so stressed....

2006-01-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

if falling for other ppl means getting over u, y is it tt i keep falling back 4 u???? can u give mi a reason???? na.... u cant.... coz u dunno how i feel bout u at all..... i jus wanna tell u tis, tt i realli wanna b wit u

2005-09-11T01:43:00.000+08:00

haix.... i realli miss serne.... haix... also dunno y...

R/S probs

2005-09-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

wow...... can believe tt so mani ppl already noe tt i like serene already...... jus let mi count how mani ppl noe....

she herself, seng, vincent, patrick, su ken, sarah, wan chin (who i dont even noe), alvin tan, ah gui, henry, hong guan, iskandar, zhi zhang, lawerence, rayna, jason, sherliyn, ah tong, tor tai, wee leong, joanne, monica, shao wei, zheng hua, khim heng, thomas, fu wen, yi sheng, all of F408, half of F407, half of F403.... wah..... i realli didnt try 2 keep tis a secret....

hahahaha.... but its ok..... coz i tink tt wad ah gui said was realli correct..... if u realli lik a person, u will not try 2 keep it a secret.... but somehow, the ppl closest 2 mi didnt noe tis at all, lik my bro, my da jie(C.C) and my er jie.... hahahahha.... could b the fact tt i veri long nv contact them alr..... mayb i hld jus stun my da jie by jus SMSing her tt i lik serene... hahahahha.....

haix..... my bachelor's club has been havin alot of probs..... haix..... patrick's chances of going aft jaedia look increasingly slim.... haix.... alot of ppl keep tellin him 2 jus tell her tt he lik her, but he didnt wan 2..... my advice was 2 tell him 2 wait until aft exams..... he took it.... i hope tt he get his wish ba..... =)

seng prob is tt he dont dare 2 go aft the girl he lik.... he sae tt given his character, he will get tired of her easily.... i got nth 2 sae as i noe tt seng is quite mature and always giv mi advice on tis kind of things and itturns out tt he is always correct... =)

isk prob is a long relationship... haix... azziza doesnt live here.... she lives in the philippines.... tt is 2 far away 4 her... and furthermore, she does not plan on coming back 2 singapore... she also had jus broken up wit her boyfriend.... so i also dun tink she wan any sort of a relationship rite now ba.... he also cannot do anything about tt 2...

as 4 mi... well u noe, since the day i wrote on my blog tt i lik her, i have not seen her at all.... dont noe if she is tryin 2 avoid mi or is it due 2 the fact tt she wan 2 study now.... i noe tt she does not wan 2 get hurt animore, i also noe tt she does not wan any kind of a relationship rite now.... but all i wan 2 noe is tt if she lik mi 2.... haix... dun tink tt i will ever noe tt ba.... but she hav been replyin my msgs tis few days ba... so i tink i shld not b paranoid and jus 4get about the whole thing....

as 4 mi, well i dun tink i will b going after serene ba... coz i dunno y.... mayb its due 2 the fact tt i found out i lik her, but my character is changin.... i dunno if its 4 the gd or bad, but i am turning out 2 b more and more lik ah seng.... the gd thing is tt he is capable at work, and more mature... but the bad thing is tt, and he himself admit tt 2... tt he is kinda of a flirt....

i noe tt at work, i can b as capable as he is, in fact, my stk closing opening is around his standards..... 4 being mature, i can admit tt i am immature, but i can work on tt.... 4 his bad points.... i myself also hate 2 admit, but i tink i am also gettin 2 b more and more lik him 2.... been jus playin around more and more often.....

i also noe the fact tt i might not b able 2 provide serene happiness, coz i realli make a lousy b/f, i cant even gurantee her tt it might b long-term, i cant even promise myself tt... so idont realli tink i can go after serene now... all i hope is tt she finds a guy who is much much betta than mi.... coz i tink i am going 2 stay single 4 quite a while now.... the only thing tt i noe is tt when i am in a r/s, i ill b extremely devoted..... other tt that, i dun tink i hav any gd points lift....

Shld i? Shldn't i???

2005-08-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

tis is bad..... i am realli fallin 4 serene already.... i am already doing things 4 her tt i didn't do 4 others b4.... bcos of her, i am trying 2 become more assertive, because of her i started 2 sing in front of public, becoz of her i am tryin 2 learn new songs, bcause of her i am singing song at a bus stop! tis is bad.... i could b realli b falling hard 4 her... die already... i do not wan my friendship 2 end becoz of tis.... mayb she was rite.... i might have fallen 4 her a long time ago, but i didnt noe tt, or tt i hav might jus fallen 4 her now..... nowadays, if i still c her wit other guys, i will also b sianz..... realli dunno i hav tis feelin also...... igive her alot of extra attention also...... cannot believe it... haix..... some1 tell mi wad 2 do??? realli at a losss rite now... i hate the year of 2005.... it is realli a year of broken relationships 4 mi...... hiax.... i dunno how she feel bout mi.... even though i noe tt she noe, but whenever we go out, there is a sense of weirdness bewteen us... also dunno how 2 describe also....i care 4 her, but dun dare 2 b close 2 her 2.... even now, i tink its easier 2 tok over the phone.... theres no physical contact animore 2.... i realli miss tt... haix... some1 pls help mi out of tis 2pid situation...... i wan 2 tell her 2... but all of my frienz sae tt it is 2 fast and it will only scare her away..... so wad 2 do???? tis is also the 1st time i realli wan 2 make such a bold and hasty move.... haix.... so stress now.... btw, i kept my promise rite??? i did not look at u at all durin yr presentation.... =)

Oh My God

2004-11-02T19:56:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! i cant believe joey called aunt lucy mommy..... *vomits alot of blood*

happy

2004-10-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

yay!!!!!!!! so happi todae!!!!!!!!!!! i finally got her no!!! haha... 4 the 1st time in my life i finally got the no of some1 tt i realli liked! :p actually i only lik 2 ppl so far.. haha tis is my 2nd... the 1st 1 was my frienz who helped mi.. i sound veri useless rite?? haha.. haix... also sianz also... y?? sup paper coming.... damn... failed the 1 i expected 2... i also tt that i will fail my maths also... but surprises of surprises, i passed!!! somehow, somewhere i managed 2 pass my maths... *Shocked expression*.... but i also disappoint my frienz leh... by failing 1 sub... haix... sory guys... now also studying veri hard 4 my paper... :p.... tis time i mus clear my paper!!! and i will 1!!! nth 2 write liaoz... so signing off at 11:28pm

surprised

2004-10-19T21:01:00.000+08:00

haix.... todae was my bdae.... sianz.... feel lik i am getting old everi single dae.... got a extremely huge suprise yesterdae.... was working at gv yesterdae... gv also closed early 4 mi... haha... no lah... aniwayz... when i was clearing the cinemas.... patrick got a call and ask mi 2 go down wit him.... i tt that it was nothing... then he asked mi 2 go 2 cinema 2.... where i got a huge shock when they started singing a birthdae song 4 mi.... i was blurred at time sia.... no wonder alvin, su ken and ming yong come down.... all of them come down jus 4 mi.... thanks guys!!! then aft tt, got another big suprise.... during supper tt time.... my bro kept on asking mi 2 close my eyes and make a wish.... thought that since there was no harm, i did so..... when i opened my eyes, he handed mi something.. it was a front row seat 2 S.H.E concert... mus hav cost the entire gv alot of money jus 4 them 2 buy it.... so... here are those tt i lik 2 thanx: my bro, my da jie. ah boon, mei ting, ah seng, kathy, alvin, su ken, patrick, ah tong and uncle sunny.... u guys rox!!!!!!! spend so money on mi.... next time no need lah.... mi already used 2 not celebrating 1... todae was also my unhappi 17th... haha.... alot of ppl wished mi happi bdae... so nice of them.... dawn also passed mi a present also.... y are ppl so nice 2 mi??????? anyway... had a great time todae.... so thanks guys!!!!!! Signing off at 9:24pm

re-entry

2004-10-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

yoz.... nv blog 4 a week liaoz..... haha... being doing alot of interesting things since my exams finish... back at work.... and been realli sianz man..... tis week alone already kena 4 times eos.. haix... also been sick during the past 2 daes... haix... still abit out of it.... on my bro's chalet summore... sianz sia..... but nvm... with all my gv pals can liaoz.... wawa still there making jokes and pretending 2 b gay... hahaha.. dunno whether wanna learn stocktake anot.... if realli kena, i wan 2 b train by only chee wee, ah tong and alvin.... the other recent full timers realli cannot make it.... haix.... wonder y gv employ them... hahaha..... haix... tis few weeks has realli been veri stressful.... been on the edge for dunno wad reasons... almost exploding tis past few weeks.... also dunno 4 wad... mus b due 2 work, sch and relationship ba....haix.... nv even go into 1 already got probs liaoz... wad the hell.... dawn also msg mi todae... asking if i am avoiding her??? wan 2 avoid her 4 wad??? the chalet thingy i was at my house slping... then messenger was coz i was playing games.... and checking my email only........ i also got no reason 2 avoid u also lehz..... dun tink so much lahz..... relationship also in chaos... lik the person butdun dare 2 go after her.... haix........ kk.... stop here..... 2 more happy daes b4 my unhappy 17th.... haix.... signing off at 12:23a.m.

finally.... it's over......

2004-10-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

YES!!!! my freaking exams are finally OVER!!!! but getting a bit worried.... haix... got a mental block todae.... so darn 2pid of mi... haix... study liaoz mental block...... finally returned to the place i love most... GVTM!!!!! hehehe..... so mani things had changed.... our backyard becom lik wat liaoz.... gelare jus opened nearby.... OMG..... only 2 mths... so mani things disappeared.... :/.... returned 2 GV only 2 find tat i hav 2 tear tixs.... the most boring job of all... -_-.... todae had the weirdest customers i hav ever seen in my freaking life!!!!!!! this is wad 1 customer sae 2 mi: "where yr manager??? wad is yr name??? du worry, i not going 2 complain about u." WTH!!!!!!!!! dun complain bout mi then ask 4 my name for wad???? go borrow loanshark money izzit??? to that customer.... SCREW YOU!!!!! another customer also damn bloody dumb.... i took her outside food liaoz.... then she go in the cinema, then come out sae i wanna eat 1st... -_-.... another dumb customer.... tink yr 15 dollars so big izzit??? haha... enuff bout tt... since exam finish... i have been out of my jerky mood.... back 2 being my gv didi liaoz.... hahahaha..... hee... also caught a glimpse of her again... omg.... she ish so cute.... hee.... k lah... stop toking bout her liaoz..... Signing 0ff at 12:19 A.M

Fed up of studying

2004-10-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

woke up tis morn 2 find another question stuck in my head... y must illness strike only the poor? the people getting sick in tis world are only the poor... y??? the whole freaking world is so freaking unfair... went to tampines mart todae 2 study wit patrick... who ish lik a 2nd brother 2 mi.... learnt that studying in macdonald's is veri veri ex... y the constant feeling of feeling hungry... damn... realli hate that feeling.... studying my emaths lik wad lik tt... still cannot get the functions and log and ln... all that stupid crap.... study also cant get in my brain.... at around 3 plus... patrick's frienz came along.... xiao jian and clement.... man... when they came, they kept toking something about voltage regulator... hahaha..... making mi laughing lik anithing... being wit them makes mi happy... something that i have not been felt 4 quite some time liaoz..... miss working at GV where we can scold the customers and people were there 2 back each other up.... nowadaes.... everithing keeps gonig wrong 4 mi.... even my realtionships... which i have not even touched at all..... y was i such a dumb block 2 ask my ex-crush out for a movie date... even when i noe well that i lik some1 else now........ i even promised her that i will remember her bdae 4 the next 2 yrs... omg.... wad a whole lot of touble i am in now.... making promises 2 my ex-crush despite the fact that my heart is with some1 else now.... i am feeling so lost rite now... can some1 show mi the way and leading mi 2 the correct path.... i dun wish 2 make another mistake and end up hurting her.... this song realli describles my feelings rite now......

Firefly:
When I said go I never meant away
You ought to know the freaky games we play
Could you forgive and learn how to forget
Hear me as I'm calling out your name

Firefly come back to me
Make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
Tell me that you're lonely too

Firefly come lead me on
Follow you into the sun
That's the way it ought to be
Firefly come back to me

You and me
We shared a mistery
We were so close
Like honey to the bee
And if you tell me how to make you understand
I'm minor in a major kinda way

Firefly come back to me
Make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
Tell me that you're lonely too
Firefly come lead me on
Follow you into the sun
That's the way it ought to be
Firefly come back to me

Fly firefly through the sky
Come and play with my desire
Don't be long don't ask why
I can't wait another night

Fly firefly through the sky
Wait another night
Don't be long
Fire fire firefly

Firefly come back to me
Make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
Tell me that you're lonely too
Firefly come lead me on
Follow you into the sun
That's the way it ought to be
Firefly come back to me

Please... some1 jus tell mi it is my imagation... or jus give mi some advice..... dun wanna hurt an1 anymore..... also unwillingly counting down 2 my birthdae... 16 more daes........ Haix....... Signing off at 11:19 PM

1st timer

2004-10-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

1st time blogging online..... feel that there is no love in tis freaking world animore.... ppl's loved ones are dying all over the world.... terrorists are taking innocent ppl as hostages... b4 killing them... wat's up wit this world??? i dun feel lik i belong here animore..... can some1 jus take mi 2 a land far far away where there is no war.... jus peace... haix......... realli having a depressing time nowadae......... personal life jus took a tumble....... projects, quizzes, exams...... all of them are realli making mi feel lik crap rite now...... y mus ppl study??? in order jus 2 get a job? or jus 2 show off 2 ppl that "Look! i have 'A's 4 everi subject!" even studying wont get u a job... haix..... tis few daes hav realli taken a toll on mi...... even more worrying is the fact tat i am going 2 turn 17 soon.... getting old veri soon..... soon i will be 20... 30... 70.... and soon... dead....... i also did a weird thing todae..... i jus asked my ex-crush out 4 a movie.... also dunno y... despite the fact that i kinda like another person now...... nah.... tink i will b jus going as a frienz.... jus hope that my old feelings wont't be rekindled once again..... *Signing off at 10:57 PM*